The Offer of Counselling
Many counselling addressed issues involve ‘loss’: bereavement divorce illness, and or related ‘absence’ the resultant consequences anger depression fear and, topically, violence, forming the material of counselling. One therapist C. Rogers believed humans were basically good but it is the absence of warmth honesty and understanding which lead to issues which then are compounded by issues of living and
leaving to a build of material from people then acting out or acting up.
Rogers further suggested a counselling relationship is about brining warmth honesty and understanding that people feel valued as humans first and foremost and then have a chance to evaluate to have an opportunity to check what is happening.
A special accepting relationship
Without having ‘time out’ it is difficult to get some distance about our issue. The values we internalise often come from places where there are agendas that we are only accepted on ‘condition that’ we are successful academically, behave to please what our parents family and cultural tradition dictates. What if we cannot fit in with the expectations and demands of school family kith and kin? A counselling relationship provides a platform for people to work out what their own values are which are deeply held within.
An opportunity to work on and re-work ourselves
Once acknowledged and accepted a more balanced assessment can be made of what values we take on as given and how other values we we sympathise fit into our truer sense of self. The very chance to have an opportunity to explore values is helpful in itself. And sometimes if the person is wanting and ready significant changes can come about.
At Home work or on the street
Regardless of changes in policies to address social issues whether it bullying or gender economic differences and interactions in the work place, conflicts in the domestic sphere, or the issues of violence on the street often a period of change of values and personal readjustment are required.
A safe honest warm understanding relationship with a counsellor is a base for a readjustment to take place. This is about internalising a new way of looking at personal and social issues one is embedded within. A more comfortable internal existence with oneself in turn facilitates a possible more wholesome relationship to the other: whether this be at home work or on the streets of our cities.